hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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