lets start a swedish sibling band together
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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