If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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