So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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