I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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