You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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