all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize