Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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