heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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