While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
