I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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