no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she pinky promised me she was 18
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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