Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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