i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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