I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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