party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This house was built for laser tag.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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