Four minutes until I can fart!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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