Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
