I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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