Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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