Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
