i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
