Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
home. puking in laundry basket.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
