words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
