i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
