you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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