"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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