i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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