her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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