I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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