How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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