I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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