Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
