How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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