Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
