maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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