I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
