Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
