i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
