Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
