It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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