you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
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how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
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