i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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