Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
