We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
