she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize