used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize