Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
