Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize