thus making me awesome and them whores
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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