the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
