I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
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how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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