Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
