You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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