just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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