Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
