One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
