It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
