there's paper in my vomit.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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