yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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